By the time of this interview, she had already given up and moved on, finally discovering her future husband while visiting old friends at her alma mater. That’s one of the issues I see with online dating though. RD: Do you think the algorithm and the other tools the dating sites offer help at all? Eric: Some of them I guess. Is there some magical solution that would make all of the nice girls and all the nice guys of the world come together more easily? dating younger guy bad. RD: How long have you been using online dating websites? Eric: Too long dating younger guy bad. Actually, now that I think about it, that was how most of the messages I got started. What is shocking to me is how different each perspective is from each other – with women claiming there are nothing but creeps on these dating sites, and with guys claiming there are plenty of nice guys. Online Dating is Frustrating for Men Being a nice guy is probably the worst thing to be when it comes to online dating. I don’t know what more a nice guy can do, but I do know it would be nice if some of these women would at least give us a chance to show what we have to offer. In some cases, I’ve read the profile of a 90+% match and find myself wondering what in the world the developer is smoking. Please. com, but then a friend told me that the success rate is much better on OKCupid, so I switched over to that. We became good friends first and we only started dating 2 years later. Eric has been using a couple of online dating websites off and on for the past year, with very little success. RD: How did you eventually end up meeting the guy you ended up marrying? AW: We lived across the hall from each other our first year of university. I don’t know, maybe some girls might think of that as a compliment but personally, I would have preferred a simple message like, “Hey, would you like to talk? I saw that some of your interests were the same as mine,” or something along those lines. I met the love of my life my second year of college, and was married before I graduated. Not much else. Sleepless on the Net So there you have it – the whole story from the female perspective and from the male perspective. I’m not sure what it is. Words on a page can only tell you so much and often, they are not the best “first impressions”.
Her responses completely surprised me. Despite his efforts, few girls ever answer his carefully crafted, very kind messages. It’s weird to me because if I didn’t normally have girls asking me out in real life, or showing that they are attracted to me, I’d probably start to develop a complex or something. Those messages made me run far, far away from online dating. To get some insight into what women go through on these dating websites, I pulled aside one of my family members who I knew had spent some time on these sites looking for her future spouse. RD: What were the majority of messages that you received from guys like? AW: Creepy. Personally, I think there is so much more to be gained from talking with someone face to face – you are able to read their body language and listen to intonation in their voice, which are much better indicators than online messages or profiles. That was one of the main reasons I called it quits. In other cases, I’ve seen profiles that have a 40-50% match with mine, but from the profile I can see pretty easily that they would be perfect with me – common sense of humor, common belief system, everything. The extent of my online dating was chatting to a few girls at other colleges over the now-archaic IBM-mainframe based chat network. You’re much more likely to get past the initial message if you can get a girl to first start talking to you based on interests. Secondly of course is that the profile gives me some feeling that there could be chemistry. RD: Do you have any advice for women out there who use online dating sites and might be reading this? Eric: Yes. What’s your take? Why is there this disconnect between the sexes when it comes to online dating. Read More. He spends time every day carefully browsing through profiles and looking for women who he feels share his same interests – beyond the dating site’s algorithm which promises to perform its own magic in matchmaking. It’s been about six months now. Read More when they’re online if you want, but as far as the “matching algorithm” goes, I don’t think it really works very well. That was mostly because I transferred schools, but because we became friends first, we had a connection that drew us back together for a chance at something more. Part of me thinks that they’re just so overwhelmed with messages from so many guys that they just pick the few that strike them as the “best” and just ignore the rest. I am getting terribly uncomfortable just thinking about it.
It’s so frustrating, because you know, I think a lot of really nice guys out there could make for amazing boyfriends who would treat these lonely, single women like they deserve to be treated. As far as a guy is concerned, women have it made. No dice. It made me SO uncomfortable that guys so much older than me, older than most of my siblings (all of which are 8 years plus older than me), were sending me messages telling me that I was “hot”. I’ve scheduled about an hour a day to browse through profiles and I look for several things. Advertisement Do online dating websites work? Okay, it’s time to have an open and frank discussion about the battle of the sexes and the dating game. Instead, you know, I think a lot of them are still hung up on hunting for the bad boys, the smooth-talkers. So, I really don’t think it’s a proven science quite yet. I have a strong preference toward meeting people in person FIRST, instead of online first. I mean, I like the fact that you can IM with people5 Ways Social Media Is Ruining Romance5 Ways Social Media Is Ruining Romance Social media has changed relationships as we know it. I have to mention that I did get maybe a message or two from guys that seemed okay, but once I checked out their profiles, it didn’t seem like we had anything in common so I didn’t bother. Once considered a realm inhabited only by the socially awkward, online dating is now just another tool in the toolbox, no matter whether you’re looking for a hook-up or your soulmate.. Remember that a simple message can go a long way. All they have to do is get online every day, sitting on their princess throne and file through the dozens or more profiles of men who have messaged them throughout the day. com, two of the largest and most popular dating websites on the Internet. Unfortunately, the reality is nowhere near that fantasy. RD: From your experience, do you think dating sites can be at all useful for girls? AW: Sure. In the end, I met my wife in person, at a party. In hindsight, I suppose if I had stayed active with it for a little longer MAYBE I would have encountered a “nice” guy. I got some commenting on my picture telling me how “hot” I was….